Peace
by a novelist
Summary: Alternate ending to Disappear. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

This is an alternate ending, of sorts, and extension to my oneshot, Disappear. I recommend reading that first in order to fully understand and appreciate what's going on in this story (character decisions and such). This will be a multi-chapter story.

 **Warning:** Contains character suicide attempt.

* * *

Beck stood at the edge of a bridge, his gaze fixed on the river below. A slight breeze wrapped around him, bringing with it an odd sense of serenity. He closed his eyes, allowing the sensation to fill him.

Six months had passed since his girlfriend's car was found in that same river, intentionally driven off the road in a desperate attempt to find peace of her own. Her body was recovered a few days later.

In the time that followed Tori's death, Beck visited the bridge. He often sat in silence. He dwelled on his guilt and regret, wishing more than anything he could have stopped her. He wished he could have taken her place and rid her of such anguish and grief.

He wished she had taken him with her.

As the wind died down, Beck reached into his pocket and removed a folded slip of paper. He opened it and read a note he had already read a thousand times before.

Beck -

I can't live like this anymore.

By the time you receive this, I'll be gone. Please remember how much I love you, and know how much it pains me to cause you such grief. However, I cannot think of any other way to truly find peace.

Thank you for your support during the last several months. You were given the opportunity to leave, but you didn't, and for that, I'm so grateful. I never would have made it this long without you. Even so, until you've experienced what I have, even your love and support can only do so much.

I'm so sorry. I only hope one day you'll be able to forgive me.

"Not now," he said. He pocketed the note. "Not ever." He eased himself to the ground. He returned his eyes toward the river, watching as the water broke against the jagged rocks below.

It was then that he heard her voice. Her gentle tone broke through the morning silence. "You shouldn't be here," Tori said.

Beck didn't flinch. "Neither should you," he said. He picked up a nearby rock. "Please, Tori, I need to be alone now." He tossed the rock into the river before reaching for another.

"You are alone," she said. She paused. "Maybe that's the problem."

"You left me," he said. "I'm alone because of _you_." He tossed another rock, this one further and with more force. "You found your peace through death. Now I'm going to find mine."

"Beck, you know this isn't the solution," she said. Her voice grew desperate. "Please, baby, take a moment and think about what you're doing."

He scoffed. "Hypocrite," he spat.

"You've got a family that loves you," she said. "You've got friends who support you."

"So did you," he said. Hurt and anger filled his voice. "When you found out you were pregnant, I promised you that you wouldn't go through it alone." His voice broke. "Now here I am, left with no one to promise the same to me."

Tori was silent a long moment. "I'm sorry," she said finally.

Beck stood. "If only that were enough," he said. He brushed the dirt from his clothes. "I'm leaving. Please don't follow me."

He strode toward his truck, which was parked just before the bridge. He got into his truck and slammed the door behind him.

For a long moment, he sat there, relishing in the silence. Tears filled his eyes. He finally put the key in the ignition and started the truck.

No turning back, he thought.

He started over the bridge. As he neared the guardrail, he veered left. His truck collided with metal and spiraled downward. It slammed front-first into the rocks before coming to a rest upside-down.

Within moments, water poured into the vehicle, its passenger still inside.

/ /

He was dead.

As Beck gradually regained consciousness, he attempted to convince himself of those words. He longed for them to be true. However, as he became distinctly aware of the intensity of his new pain, he knew he was very much alive.

He was lying on something firm, his body restrained. A gurney, he realized. His clothes, soaked from the river, clung heavily to his body.

He felt a jolt as the gurney collided with a set of double doors. Moments later, he was transferred from the gurney and placed on a bed.

As someone cut the clothes from his body, someone else placed something over his nose and mouth. He felt a gloved hand brush against his bare skin as it attached something to his chest. A moment later, he heard the piercing sound of a monitor.

Beck's thoughts continued to whirl. He wasn't sure who had rescued him, or how he had gotten to this point. All he knew was that in his search for peace, his situation had become much more dire, and his life had become much worse.

His head throbbed intensely, leaving him nauseated. His breaths were carefully labored, as each one brought on piercing pain.

He began to pray: Pray for healing, pray for death, pray for anything to deliver him from the excruciating pain he found himself in.

"Patient is in defib. Stand by."

His world was fading. He felt a great tightening in his chest, and then nothing. He could no longer hear the staff's voices, nor was he aware of the sense of urgency that filled the room.

He resigned himself to the painless bliss of darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

It was silent in the waiting room.

Four hours had passed since Beck's truck was pulled from the river. He was airlifted to a nearby hospital.

It was the second time in six months Beck's friends had gathered in that waiting room. It was then that Beck had been admitted for overdose of prescribed antidepressants.

Now, here they were again.

James and Margaret Oliver had long ago disappeared with Dr. Samuels to speak in private of their son's condition. A sick feeling of dread overcame Andre the longer the parents were gone.

Jade walked into the room carrying two steaming styrofoam cups. She took a seat beside Andre and handed him one of them. "Here," she said. "You look like you could use this."

"Thanks," he said. His eyes never left the door.

Jade followed his gaze. "He'll be okay," she said.

"Not this time," Andre said. He lowered his eyes. "He'll never be the same again."

A moment later, James walked through the door. His expression was filled with grief. He walked over to Andre and Jade.

"He's brain dead," James said simply. His voice was tight. "Our son, our only child…" He exhaled heavily. "He's entirely dependent on a ventilator, as of now."

Andre's eyes widened. Beside him, Jade released a sob. "What's going to happen next?" Andre said.

James was on the verge of tears himself. "Dr. Samuels encouraged us to remove Beck from life support," he said. "We've made arrangements for such later this afternoon."

Stunned silence filled the room.

"You're welcome to visit him and say your goodbyes."

/ /

Minutes later, Andre and Jade were at their friend's bedside. For a moment, the couple stood there, allowing their new reality to truly settle.

Beck lay flat in the hospital bed, his neck firmly supported by a brace. A thin tube had been inserted through his mouth and snaked down his throat, allowing him to breathe. Numerous breaks and fractures left much of him cast-clad. He lay still, much too still, in the bed.

Andre was stricken.

Jade finally took a seat beside Beck. She brushed her fingers over a large patch of gauze on Beck's forehead. Her eyes glistened. "What have you done, Beck?" she whispered.

He had suffered a skull laceration, as well as inhaled a dangerous amount of water. He had gone into cardiac arrest in the operating room. For eight minutes, the medical team struggled to save him, but to no avail.

"It wasn't real until this moment," Andre said.

"He was finally going to therapy. He was finally getting help," Jade said. "How could this happen?"

Andre scoffed. "Yeah, those antidepressants his psychiatrist prescribed were great, weren't they?" He took a seat beside Jade. "Led to overdose, hospitalization, _more_ therapy…"

"And now this," she said. "We're planning for college, and his family is arranging a funeral." Jade swallowed. "He's _dying_."

She stood abruptly. "I - I'm so sorry. I can't - " She ran from the room.

Andre followed her.

Jade was outside, huddled near the front doors. She sat with her face buried in her hands, her knees tucked tightly against her chest. Andre sank to the ground beside her. He rubbed her back in reassurance.

"It's not fair," she said finally. She looked up. Her cheeks were streaked with mascara. "He doesn't deserve to die."

"He chose this," Andre said.

"He chose _wrong_ ," she said.

"Tori was his life. Melissa was, too. Nothing would have stopped him from this."

Jade sighed. "I can't go back in there."

"It's okay." Andre brushed a strand of hair from her eyes, resting his hand on her cheek. "I don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with." He kissed her. "Just make sure you're also not doing anything you'll regret later. He'll be gone very soon."

Fresh tears filled Jade's eyes, but she simply said, "I know." She wiped her eyes in vain. "How can you be so calm about this?"

He smiled sadly. "Beck died with her that night on the bridge." He shrugged slightly. "It was never a matter of _if_ this would happen again, but instead, _when_. We couldn't have prevented this. He wouldn't let us." He stood. "I'm going back in. Can I walk you to the waiting room, at least?"

"No, I'll meet you inside in a minute."

Andre returned to find James and Margaret standing outside their son's room. Margaret sobbed quietly into her husband's chest.

Andre's heart clenched. He walked into Beck's room and took a seat beside his bed. His throat tightened as he realized these last few moments would be Beck's last.

"Hey, Beck," he said. "It's been a crazy year, hasn't it? And now it's come to this." He paused. "I've got to say, it's incredible what you did for Tori. Most guys would've walked away, but instead, you took on the responsibility of not only Tori, but her daughter as well." He smiled softly. "I know you loved Melissa as your own. I can't respect you enough for that, and I know Tori did, too.

"I can't say I was surprised when I heard you'd been pulled from the river. To be honest, I was more surprised we hadn't received that call sooner." He lowered his eyes. "Even so, it doesn't make this any easier."

Behind him, the door swung open. Jade crossed the room and took a seat beside her boyfriend.

Andre continued. His voice cracked for the first time. "You're the best friend I could ask for. I wish I had been the same. You pushed us away, but no one pushed back. For that, I'm sorry." He paused. "I'm going to miss you." He glanced at Jade. "We all will."

Jade reached out and closed her hand around Beck's fingers. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm sorry we weren't able to support you in the way you needed, and I'm sorry you felt this was your only escape from reality." She paused. "I only hope you've found the peace you longed for."

She squeezed his hand lightly. She stood, then, and Andre looped his arm around her shoulder as they left.

Dr. Samuels was waiting in the hallway. He nodded solemnly before disappearing inside.

The couple lingered just outside Beck's room. Andre sank to the ground and gently pulled Jade down with him. He held her close as only a wall away, one of their best friends breathed their last. An eerie silence filled the empty hallway.

It was over.

/ /

A world away, a young couple were reunited in Heaven.

Tori wrapped her arms around Beck's neck. His eyes slid closed as she drew near, brushing her lips against his own.

"I've missed you," he whispered. "Tori, I love you."

"I love you, too," she said. She rested her head on his shoulder. He tightened his embrace. "I never wanted to hurt you," she said.

"I know," he said. "You were right. Until you've experienced loss, you never truly know the pain of it. It took losing you to realize it." He kissed her softly. "You found your peace. I can never fault you for that."

She looked up, into his eyes. "Now you've found yours."


End file.
